The Sunset Limited: A Novel in Dramatic Form Read online

Black You dont want to hear nigger but you about to bail out on me on account of I wont tell you some terrible shit the nigger said. You sure about this?

  White I just dont see why you have to say that word.

  Black Well it’s my story aint it? Anyway I dont remember there bein no Afro-Americans or persons of color there. To the best of my recollection it was just a bunch of niggers.

  White Go ahead.

  Black Well at some point I had pulled the knife out and I reckon I’d done dropped it in the floor. I’m wailin on this nigger’s head and all the time I’m doin that his buddy has got hold of me from behind. But I’m holdin on to the rail with one hand and I aint goin nowhere. Course what I dont know is that this other dude has picked up the knife and he’s tryin to gut me with it. I finally felt the blood and I turned around and busted him in the head and he went skitterin off across the floor, and by now they done pushed the button and the alarm is goin and everbody’s down on the floor and we’re in lockdown and the guard up on the tier is got a shotgun pointed at me and he hollers at me to put down my weapon and get on the floor. And he’s about to shoot me when the lieutenant comes in and hollers at him to hold his fire and he tells me to throw that club down and I looked around and I’m the only one standin. I seen the nigger’s feet stickin out from under the servin counter where he’d crawled so I throwed the thing down and I dont remember much after that. They told me I’d lost about half my blood. I remember slippin around in it but I thought it was this other dude’s.

  White (Dryly) That’s quite a story.

  Black Yeah. That’s really just the introduction to the actual story.

  White Did the man die?

  Black No he didnt. Everbody lived. They thought he was dead but he wasnt. He never was right after that so I never had no more trouble out of him. He was missin a eye and he walked around with his head sort of sideways and one arm hangin down. Couldnt talk right. They finally shipped him off to another facility.

  White But that’s not the whole story.

  Black No. It aint.

  White So what happened.

  Black I woke up in the infirmary. They had done operated on me. My spleen was cut open. Liver. I dont know what all. I come pretty close to dyin. And I had two hundred and eighty stitches holdin me together and I was hurtin. I didnt know you could hurt that bad. And still they got me in leg irons and got me handcuffed to the bed. If you can believe that. And I’m layin there and I hear this voice. Just as clear. Couldnt of been no clearer. And this voice says: If it was not for the grace of God you would not be here. Man. I tried to raise up and look around but of course I couldnt move. Wasnt no need to anyways. They wasnt nobody there. I mean, they was somebody there all right but they wasnt no use in me lookin around to see if I could see him.

  White You dont think this is a strange kind of story?

  Black I do think it’s a strange kind of story.

  White What I mean is that you didnt feel sorry for this man?

  Black You gettin ahead of the story.

  White The story of how a fellow prisoner became a crippled one-eyed halfwit so that you could find God.

  Black Whoa.

  White Well isnt it?

  Black I dont know.

  White You hadnt thought of it that way.

  Black Oh I’d thought of it that way.

  White And?

  Black And what?

  White Isnt that the real story?

  Black Well. I dont want to get on the wrong side of you. You seem to have a powerful wish for that to be the real story. So I will say that that is certainly one way to look at it. I got to concede that. I got to keep you interested.

  White String me along.

  Black That okay with you?

  White And then put me in the what was it? The trick bag?

  Black Yeah.

  White Right.

  Black You got to remember this is a jailhouse story.

  White All right.

  Black Which you specifically asked for.

  White All right.

  Black The point is, Professor, that I aint got the first notion in the world about what makes God tick. I dont know why he spoke to me. I wouldnt of.

  White But you listened.

  Black Well what choice would you have?

  White I dont know. Not listen?

  Black How you goin to do that?

  White Just dont listen.

  Black Do you think he goes around talkin to people that he knows aint goin to listen in the first place? You think he’s got that kind of free time?

  White I see your point.

  Black If he didnt know I was ready to listen he wouldnt of said a word.

  White He’s an opportunist.

  Black Meanin I guess that he seen somebody in a place low enough to where he ought to be ready to take a pretty big step.

  White Something like that.

  Black And you think that maybe I think that you might be in somethin like that kind of a place you own self.

  White Could be.

  Black Well I can dig that. I can dig it. Of course they is one small problem.

  White And that is.

  Black I aint God.

  White I’m glad to hear you say that.

  Black It come as a relief to me too.

  White Did you used to think you were God?

  Black No. I didnt. I didnt know what I was. But I thought I was in charge. I never knowed what that burden weighed till I put it down. That might of been the sweetest thing of all. To just hand over the keys.

  White Let me ask you something.

  Black Ask it.

  White Why cant you people just accept it that some people dont even want to believe in God.

  Black I accept that.

  White You do?

  Black Sure I do. Meanin that I believe it to be a fact. I’m lookin at it ever day. I better accept it.

  White Then why cant you leave us alone?

  Black To do your own thing.

  White Yes.

  Black Hangin from them steampipes and all.

  White If that’s what we want to do, yes.

  Black Cause he said not to. It’s in here. (Holding up the book)

  The professor shakes his head.

  Black I guess you dont want to be happy.

  White Happy?

  Black Yeah. What’s wrong with happy?

  White God help us.

  Black What. We done opened a can of worms here? What you got against bein happy?

  White It’s contrary to the human condition.

  Black. Well. It’s contrary to your condition. I got to agree with that.

  White Happy. This is ridiculous.

  Black Like they aint no such a thing.

  White No.

  Black Not for nobody.

  White No.

  Black Mm. How’d we get in such a fix as this?

  White We were born in such a fix as this. Suffering and human destiny are the same thing. Each is a description of the other.

  Black We aint talkin about sufferin. We talkin about bein happy.

  White Well you cant be happy if you’re in pain.

  Black Why not?

  White You’re not making any sense.

  The black falls back clutching his chest.

  Black Oh them is some hard words from the professor. The preacher has fell back. He’s clutchin his heart. Eyes is rolled back in his head. Wait a minute. Wait a minute folks. His eyes is blinkin. I think he’s comin back. I think he’s comin back.

  The black sits up and leans forward.

  Black The point, Professor, is that if you didnt have no pain in your life then how would you even know you was happy? As compared to what?

  White You dont have anything to drink around here do you?

  Black No, Professor, I aint. You a drinkin man?

  White Are we about to get a temperance lecture?

  Black Not from me.

  White It’s been a difficult day. I take it you
dont drink.

  Black I dont. I have done my share of it in my time.

  White Are you in AA?

  Black No. No AA. I just quit. I’ve had a lots of friends was drinkers. Most of em, for that matter. Most of em dead, too.

  White From drinking.

  Black Well. From drinkin or from reasons that dont get too far from drinkin. Not too long ago I had a friend to get run down by a taxicab. Now where do you reckon he was goin? Drunk.

  White I dont know. Where was he going?

  Black Goin after more whiskey. Had plenty at the house. But a drunk is always afraid of runnin out.

  White Was he killed?

  Black I hope so. We buried him.

  White I suppose there’s a moral to this story.

  Black Well, it’s just a story about what you want and what you get. Pain and happiness. I’ll tell you another one.

  White All right.

  Black One Sunday they’s a bunch of us settin around at my house drinkin. Sunday mornin. Favorite time for drunks to get together and drink and I’ll let you think about why that might be so. Well here come one of my buddies with this girl. Evelyn. And Evelyn was drunk when she got there but we fixed her a drink and directly Redge—my buddy—he goes back in the kitchen to get him a drink only now the bottle’s gone. Well, Redge has been around a few drinkin people in his time so he commences to hunt for the bottle. Looks in all the cabinets and behind everthing. He cant find it but of course he knows what’s happened to it so he comes back in and he sets down and he looks at Miss Evelyn settin there on the sofa. Drunk as a goat. And he says: Evelyn, where’s the whiskey? And Evelyn, she goes: Ah ghaga baba lala ghaga. And he says: Evelyn, where did you put the whiskey? Ah lala bloggle blabla. And Redge is settin there and this is beginnin to piss him off just a little and he gets in her face and he goes: Ah loddle loddle blabble ghaga blabla and she says I hid it in the toilet.

  White That’s pretty funny

  Black I thought you might like that.

  White And is that where the whiskey was?

  Black Oh yeah. That’s a favorite place for drunks to hide a bottle. But the point of course is that the drunk’s concern aint that he’s goin to die from drinkin—which he is. It’s that he’s goin to run out of whiskey fore he gets a chance to do it. Are you hungry? I can come back to this. I aint goin to lose my place.

  White I’m all right. Go ahead.

  Black If you was to hand a drunk a drink and tell him he really dont want it what do you reckon he’d say?

  White I think I know what he’d say.

  Black Sure you do. But you’d still be right.

  White About him not really wanting it.

  Black Yes. Because what he really wants he cant get. Or he thinks he cant get it. So what he really dont want he cant get enough of.

  White So what is it that he really wants.

  Black You know what he really wants.

  White No I dont.

  Black Yeah you do.

  White No I dont.

  Black Hm.

  White Hm what.

  Black You a hard case, Professor.

  White You’re not exactly a day at the beach yourself.

  Black You dont know what he wants.

  White No. I do not.

  Black He wants what everbody wants.

  White And that is?

  Black He wants to be loved by God.

  White I dont want to be loved by God.

  Black I love that. See how you cut right to it? He dont either. Accordin to him. He just wants a drink of whiskey. You a smart man, Professor. You tell me which one makes sense and which one dont.

  White I dont want a drink of whiskey, either.

  Black I thought you just got done askin for one?

  White I mean as a general proposition.

  Black We aint talkin about no general propositions. We talkin about a drink.

  White I dont have a drinking problem.

  Black Well you got some kind of a problem.

  White Well whatever kind of a problem I have it’s not something that I imagine can be addressed with a drink of liquor.

  Black Mm. I love the way you put that. So what can it be addressed with?

  White I think you know what it can be addressed with.

  Black The Sunset Limited.

  White Yes.

  Black And that’s what you want.

  White That’s what I want. Yes.

  Black That’s a mighty big drink of whiskey, Professor.

  White That I dont really want.

  Black That you dont really want. Yes.

  White Well. I think I do want it.

  Black Of course you do, honey. If you didnt we wouldnt be settin here.

  White Well. I disagree with you.

  Black That’s all right. That’s the hand I’m playin.

  White I dont think you understand that people such as myself see a yearning for God as something lacking in those people.

  Black I do understand that. Couldnt agree more.

  White You agree with that?

  Black Sure I do. What’s lackin is God.

  White Well, as I say, we’ll just have to disagree.

  Black You aint closin down the forum for discussion are you?

  White Not at this juncture.

  Black Cause I had a little more to say.

  White How did I know that?

  Black I did go to one or two AA meetins. Lot of folks didnt like the God part of it all that much but I hadnt set there too long fore I figured out that the God part was really all the part they was. The problem wasnt that they was too much God in AA it was that they wasnt enough. And I got a pretty thick head about some things but I finally figured out that what was true about AA was probably true about a lot of other things too.

  White Well I’m sorry, but to me the whole idea of God is just a load of crap.

  The black puts his hand to his chest and leans back.

  Black Oh Lord have mercy oh save us Jesus. The professor’s done blasphemed all over us. We aint never gone be saved now.

  He closes his eyes and shakes his head, laughing silently.

  White You dont find that an evil thing to say.

  Black Oh Mercy. No, Professor. I dont. But you does.

  White No I dont. It’s simply a fact.

  Black No it aint no simply a fact. It’s the biggest fact about you. It’s just about the only fact.

  White But you dont seem to think that it’s so bad.

  Black Well, I know it to be curable. So it aint that bad. If you talkin about what that man up there thinks about it I figure he’s probably seen enough of it that it dont bother him as bad as you might think. I mean, what if somebody told you that you didnt exist. And you settin there listenin to him say it. That wouldnt really piss you off, would it?

  White No. You’d just feel sorry for them.

  Black I think that’s right. You might even try to get some help for em. Now in my case he had to holler at me out loud and me layin on a slab in two pieces that they’d sewed back together where some nigger done tried to core me like a apple but still I got to say that if God is God then he can speak to your heart at any time and furthermore I got to say that if he spoke to me—which he did—then he can speak to anybody.

  The black drums his fingers lightly three times on the table and looks at the professor.

  Silence.

  Black Well. Wonder what this crazy nigger fixin to do. He liable to put the mojo on me. Be speakin in tongues here directly. I better get my ass out of here. He’s liable to try and steal my pocketbook. Need to get my ass down to the train depot fore somethin happen to me. What we goin to do with you, Professor?

  White I need to go.

  Black I thought you was goin to stay and visit with me some.

  White Look. I know I owe you a good deal. In the eyes of the world at least. Cant I just give you something and we’ll call it square? I could give you some money. Something like that.

  The b
lack studies him. He doesnt answer.

  White I could give you a thousand dollars. Well. That’s not very much, I guess. I could give you three thousand, say.

  Black You dont have no notion the trouble you in, do you?

  White I dont know what you mean.

  Black I know you dont.

  White I’d just like to settle this someway.

  Black It aint me you got to settle with.

  White Do you really believe I was sent to you by God?

  Black Oh it’s worse than that.

  White How do you mean?

  Black Belief aint like unbelief. If you a believer then you got to come finally to the well of belief itself and then you dont have to look no further. There aint no further. But the unbeliever has got a problem. He has set out to unravel the world, but everthing he can point to that aint true leaves two new things layin there. If God walked the earth when he got done makin it then when you get up in the mornin you get to put your feet on a real floor and you dont have to worry about where it come from. But if he didnt then you got to come up with a whole other description of what you even mean by real. And you got to judge everthing by that same light. If light it is. Includin yourself. One question fits all. So what do you think, Professor? Is you real?

  White I’m not buying it.

  Black That’s all right. It’s been on the market a long time and it’ll be there a while yet.

  White Do you believe everything that’s in there? In the bible?

  Black The literal truth?

  White Yes.

  Black Probably not. But then you already know I’m a outlaw.

  White What is it you would disagree with?

  Black Maybe the notion of original sin. When Eve eat the apple and it turned everbody bad. I dont see people that way. I think for the most part people are good to start with. I think evil is somethin you bring on your own self. Mostly from wantin what you aint supposed to have. But I aint goin to set here and tell you about me bein a heretic when I’m tryin to get you to quit bein one.

  White Are you a heretic?

  Black You tryin to put me in the trick bag, Professor.