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The Sunset Limited Page 2
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Black Well give me a for instance.
White Mostly the value of things.
Black Value of things.
White Yes.
Black Okay. What things.
White Lots of things. Cultural things, for instance. Books and music and art. Things like that.
Black All right.
White Those are the kinds of things that have value to me. They're the foundations of civilization. Or they used to have value. I suppose they dont have so much any more.
Black What happened to em?
White People stopped valuing them. I stopped valuing them. To a certain extent. I'm not sure I could tell you why. That world is largely gone. Soon it will be wholly gone.
Black I aint sure I'm followin you, Professor.
White There's nothing to follow. It's all right. The things that I loved were very frail. Very fragile. I didnt know that. I thought they were indestructible. They werent.
Black And that's what sent you off the edge of the platform. It wasnt nothin personal.
White It is personal. That's what an education does. It makes the world personal.
Black Hm.
White Hm what.
Black Well. I was just thinkin that them is some pretty powerful words. I dont know that I got a answer about any of that and it might be that they aint no answer. But still I got to ask what is the use of notions such as them if it wont keep you glued down to the platform when the Sunset Limited comes through at eighty mile a hour.
White Good question.
Black I thought so.
White I dont have an answer to any of that either. Maybe it's not logical. I dont know. I dont care. I've been asked didnt I think it odd that I should be present to witness the death of everything and I do think it's odd but that doesnt mean it's not so. Someone has to be here.
Black But you dont intend to stick around for it.
White No. I dont.
Black So let me see if I got this straight. You sayin that all this culture stuff is all they ever was tween you and the Sunset Limited.
White It's a lot.
Black But it busted out on you.
White Yes.
Black You a culture junky.
White If you like. Or I was. Maybe you're right. Maybe I have no beliefs. I believe in the Sunset Limited.
Black Damn, Professor.
White Damn indeed.
Black No beliefs.
White The things I believed in dont exist any more. It's foolish to pretend that they do. Western Civilization finally went up in smoke in the chimneys at Dachau but I was too infatuated to see it. I see it now.
Black You a challenge, Professor. Did you know that?
White Well, there's no reason for you to become involved in my problems. I should go.
Black You got any friends?
White No.
Black You aint got even one friend?
White No.
Black You got to be kiddin me, Professor. Not one?
White Not really. No.
Black Well tell me about that one.
White What one?
Black The not really one.
White I have a friend at the university. Not a close friend. We have lunch from time to time.
Black But that's about as good as it gets.
White What do you mean?
Black That's about all you got in the way of friends.
White Yes.
Black Mm. Well. If that's the best friend you got then I reckon that's your best friend. Aint it?
White I dont know.
Black What did you do to him.
White What did I do to him?
Black Yeah.
White I didnt do anything to him.
Black Mm hm.
White I didnt do anything to him. What makes you think I did something to him?
Black I dont know. Did you?
White No. What is it you think I did to him?
Black I dont know. I'm waitin on you to tell me.
White Well there's nothing to tell.
Black But you didnt leave him no note or nothin. When you decided to take the train.
White No.
Black Your best friend?
White He's not my best friend.
Black I thought we just got done decidin that he was.
White You just got done deciding.
Black You ever tell him you was thinkin about this?
White No.
Black Damn, Professor.
White Why should I?
Black I dont know. Maybe cause he's your best friend?
White I told you. We're not all that close.
Black Not all that close.
White No.
Black He's your best friend only you aint all that close.
White If you like.
Black Not to where you'd want to bother him about a little thing like dyin.
White (Looking around the room) Look. Suppose I were to give you my word that I would just go home and that I wouldnt try to kill myself en route.
Black Suppose I was to give you my word that I wouldnt listen to none of your bullshit.
White So what am I, a prisoner here?
Black You know bettern that. Anyway, you was a prisoner fore you got here. Death Row prisoner. What did your daddy do?
White What?
Black I said what did your daddy do. What kind of work.
White He was a lawyer.
Black Lawyer.
White Yes.
Black What kind of law did he do?
White He was a government lawyer. He didnt do criminal law or things like that.
Black Mm hm. What would be a thing like criminal law?
White I dont know. Divorce law, maybe.
Black Yeah. Maybe you got a point. What did he die of?
White Who said he was dead?
Black Is he dead?
White Yes.
Black What did he die of?
White Cancer.
Black Cancer. So he was sick for a while.
White Yes. He was.
Black Did you go see him?
White No.
Black How come?
White I didnt want to.
Black Well how come you didnt want to?
White I dont know. I just didnt. Maybe I didnt want to remember him that way.
Black Bullshit. Did he ask you to come?
White No.
Black But your mama did.
White She may have. I dont remember.
Black Come on, Professor. She asked you to come.
White Okay. Yes.
Black And what did you tell her?
White I told her I would.
Black But you didnt.
White No.
Black How come?
White He died.
Black Yeah, but that aint it. You had time to go see him and you didnt do it.
White I suppose.
Black You waited till he was dead.
White Okay. So I didnt go and see my father.
Black Your daddy is layin on his deathbed dyin of cancer. Your mama settin there with him. Holdin his hand. He in all kinds of pain. And they ask you to come see him one last time fore he dies and you tell em no. You aint comin. Please tell me I got some part of this wrong.
White If that's the way you want to put it.
Black Well how would you put it?
White I dont know.
Black That's the way it is. Aint it?
White I suppose.
Black No you dont suppose. Is it or aint it?
White Yes.
Black Well. Let me see if I can find my train schedule.
He opens the table drawer and rummages through it.
Black See when that next uptown express is due.
White I'm not sure I see the humor.
Black I'm glad to hear you say that, Professor. Cause I aint sure either. I just get more amazed by the minute, that's all. How come you cant see yourself,
honey? You plain as glass. I can see the wheels turnin in there. The gears. And I can see the light too. Good light. True light. Cant you see it?
White No. I cant.
Black Well bless you, brother. Bless you and keep you. Cause it's there.
They sit.
White When were you in the penitentiary?
Black Long time ago.
White What were you in for?
Black Murder.
White Really?
Black Now who would claim to be a murderer that wasnt one?
White You called it the jailhouse.
Black Yeah?
White Do most blacks call the penitentiary the jailhouse?
Black Naw. Just us old country niggers. We kind of make it a point to call things for what they is. I'd hate to guess how many names they is for the jailhouse. I'd hate to have to count em.
White Do you have a lot of jailhouse stories?
Black Jailhouse stories.
White Yes.
Black I dont know. I used to tell jailhouse stories some but they kindly lost their charm. Maybe we ought to talk about somethin more cheerful.
White Have you ever been married?
Black Married.
White Yes.
Black (Softly) Oh man.
White What.
Black Maybe we ought to take another look at them jailhouse stories. (He shakes his head, laughing soundlessly. He pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut.) Oh my.
White Do you have any children?
Black Naw, Professor, I aint got nobody. Everbody in my family is dead. I had two boys. They been dead for years. Just about everbody I ever knowed is dead, far as that goes. You might want to think about that. I might be a hazard to your health.
White You were always in a lot of trouble?
Black Yeah. I was. I liked it. Maybe I still do. I done seven years hard time and I was lucky not to of done a lot more. I hurt a lot of people. I'd smack em around a little and then they wouldnt get up again.
White But you dont get in trouble now.
Black No.
White But you still like it?
Black Well, maybe I'm just condemned to it. Bit in the ass by my own karma. But I'm on the other side now. You want to help people that's in trouble you pretty much got to go where the trouble is at. You aint got a lot of choice.
White And you want to help people in trouble.
Black Yeah.
White Why is that?
The black tilts his head and studies him.
Black You aint ready for that.
White How about just the short answer.
Black That is the short answer.
White How long have you been here?
Black You mean in this buildin?
White Yes.
Black Six years. Seven, almost.
White I dont understand why you live here.
Black As compared to where?
White Anywhere.
Black Well I'd say this pretty much is anywhere. I could live in another buildin I reckon. This is all right. I got a bedroom where I can get away. Got a sofa yonder where people can crash. Junkies and crackheads, mostly. Of course they goin to carry off your portables so I dont own nothin. And that's good. You hang out with the right crowd and you'll finally get cured of just about ever cravin. They took the refrigerator one time but somebody caught em on the stairs with it and made em bring it back up. Now I got that big sucker yonder. Traded up. Only thing I miss is the music. I aim to get me a steel door for the bedroom. Then I can have me some music again. You got to get the door and the frame together. I'm workin on that. I dont care nothin about television but I miss that music.
White You dont think this is a terrible place?
Black Terrible?
White Yes.
Black What's terrible about it?
White It's horrible. It's a horrible life.
Black Horrible life?
White Yes.
Black Damn, Professor. This aint a horrible life. What you talkin bout?
White This place. It's a horrible place. Full of horrible people.
Black Oh my.
White You must know these people are not worth saving. Even if they could be saved. Which they cant. You must know that.
Black Well, I always liked a challenge. I started a ministry in prison fore I got out. Now that was a challenge. Lot of the brothers'd show up that they didnt really care nothin bout it. They couldnt of cared less bout the word of God. They just wanted it on their resume.
White Resume?
Black Resume. You had brothers in there that had done some real bad shit and they wasnt sorry about a damn thing cept gettin caught. Of course the funny thing was a lot of em did believe in God. Maybe even more than these folks here on the outside. I know I did. You might want to think about that, Professor.
White I think I'd better go.
Black You dont need to go, Professor. What am I goin to do, you leave me settin here by myself?
White You dont need me. You just dont want to feel responsible if anything happens to me.
Black What's the difference?
White I dont know. I just need to go.
Black Just stay a while. This place is got to be more cheerful than you own.
White I dont think you have any idea how strange it is for me to be here.
Black I think I got some idea.
White I have to go.
Black Let me ask you somethin.
White All right.
Black You ever had one of them days when things was just sort of weird all the way around? When things just kindly fell into place?
White I'm not sure what you mean.
Black Just one of them days. Just kind of magic. One of them days when everthing turns out right.
White I dont know. Maybe. Why?
Black I just wondered if maybe it aint been kindly a long dry spell for you. Until you finally took up with the notion that that's the way the world is.
White The way the world is.
Black Yeah.
White And how is that?
Black I dont know. Long and dry. The point is that even if it might seem that way to you you still got to understand that the sun dont shine up the same dog's ass ever day. You understand what I'm sayin?
White If what you're saying is that I'm simply having a bad day that's ridiculous.
Black I dont think you havin a bad day, Professor. I think you havin a bad life.
White You think I should change my life.
Black What, are you shittin me?
White I have to go.
Black You could hang with me here a little while longer.
White What about my jailhouse story?
Black You dont need to hear no jailhouse story.
White Why not?
Black Well, you kind of suspicious bout everthing. You think I'm fixin to put you in the trick bag.
White And you're not.
Black Oh no. I am. I just dont want you to know about it.
White Well, in any case I need to go.
Black You know you aint ready to hit the street.
White I have to.
Black I know you aint got nothin you got to do.
White And how do you know that?
Black Cause you aint even supposed to be here.
White I see your point.
Black What if I was to tell you a jailhouse story? You stay then?
White All right. I'll stay for a while.
Black My man. All right. Here's my jailhouse story.
White Is it a true story?
Black Oh yeah. It's a true story. I dont know no other kind.
White All right.
Black All right. I'm in the chowline and I'm gettin my chow and this nigger in the line behind me gets into it with the server. Says the beans is cold and he throws the ladle down in the beans. And when he done that they was beans splashed on me. Well, I wasnt goin to get into it over some beans but it did piss
me off some. I'd just put on a clean suit--you know, khakis, shirt and trousers--and you only got two a week. And I did say somethin to him like hey man, watch it, or somethin like that. But I went on, and I'm thinkin, just let it go. Let it go. And then this dude says somethin to me and I turned and looked back at him and when I done that he stuck a knife in me. I never even seen it. And the blood is just flyin. And this aint no jailhouse shiv neither. It's one of them italian switchblades. One of them black and silver jobs. And I didnt do a thing in the world but duck and step under the rail and I reached and got hold of the leg of this table and it come off in my hand just as easy. And it's got this big long screw stickin out of the end of it and I went to wailin on this nigger's head and I didnt quit. I beat on it till you couldnt hardly tell it was a head. And that screw'd stick in his head and I'd have to stand on him to pull it out again.
White What did he say?
Black What did he say?
White I mean in the line. What did he say.
Black I aint goin to repeat it.
White That doesnt seem fair.
Black Dont seem fair.
White No.
Black Hm. Well, here I'm tellin you a bonafide blood and guts tale from the Big House. The genuine article. And I cant get you to fill in the blanks about what this nigger said?
White Do you have to use that word?
Black Use that word.
White Yes.
Black We aint makin much progress here, is we?
White It just seems unnecessary.
Black You dont want to hear nigger but you about to bail out on me on account of I wont tell you some terrible shit the nigger said. You sure about this?
White I just dont see why you have to say that word.
Black Well it's my story aint it? Anyway I dont remember there bein no Afro-Americans or persons of color there. To the best of my recollection it was just a bunch of niggers.
White Go ahead.
Black Well at some point I had pulled the knife out and I reckon I'd done dropped it in the floor. I'm wailin on this nigger's head and all the time I'm doin that his buddy has got hold of me from behind. But I'm holdin on to the rail with one hand and I aint goin nowhere. Course what I dont know is that this other dude has picked up the knife and he's tryin to gut me with it. I finally felt the blood and I turned around and busted him in the head and he went skitterin off across the floor, and by now they done pushed the button and the alarm is goin and everbody's down on the floor and we're in lockdown and the guard up on the tier is got a shotgun pointed at me and he hollers at me to put down my weapon and get on the floor. And he's about to shoot me when the lieutenant comes in and hollers at him to hold his fire and he tells me to throw that club down and I looked around and I'm the only one standin. I seen the nigger's feet stickin out from under the servin counter where he'd crawled so I throwed the thing down and I dont remember much after that. They told me I'd lost about half my blood. I remember slippin around in it but I thought it was this other dude's.